Where the Heart Is
by Synesthete
Summary: JC, some PT. Written from the beginning, unfolding it in a way I prefer rather than canon. Further chapters to follow. Thanks for reading! Please review?
1. year 1, day 2

Disclaimer: I don't own their universe; I'm just tweaking it from afar. Please don't sue. P

Of note:  
1) I only watched the first two or three seasons of the show when they originally aired, plus a handful of rerun episodes from later seasons I've caught during the last few months. So, I am grateful to some web authors who had in the past taken their time to write out the episode transcripts - that made the writing task much easier on me ;)  
2) There is a generous amount of retconning in here. Seska was not with Chakotay, because she was creepy and I didn't like her. :) The Borg has taken over a large swath of the DQ. And other, smaller differences, some relating to the timing of some episodes.  
3) If you don't like J/C (or P/T, for that matter), flee while you still can!  
4) Thoughts are in italics, dialogue is in normal double quotes.  
5) I will be slightly rewriting past chapters as the story progresses, as I find errors, or things I can add, etc.  
6) I am writing this both to entertain (myself and any readers) and to improve my writing. Any suggestions to make this story or any of its chapters or sections better - written better, better in character, and generally more enjoyable are most welcome, so please review! Good or bad, I'd very much like to hear it. (I have thick skin and want to improve myself, so no worries.) Thank you in advance!

Like I said, this is going to start at the beginning. Something I have wanted to do for a long time now was to fill in the gaps, at least in my mind, of what transpired during the "non-action" events of the end of "Caretaker". The recovery and combining-the-crew thing was totally glossed over and just sort of shoved upon the viewers without any discussion about it whatsoever, and I always thought that was kinda... lame, really. So here is my written-out take on the beginning, keeping in mind it quickly AUs off into my own universe of how I envisioned the series unfolding, but with significant emphasis on J & C, of course. Please enjoy.

CHAPTER 1: year 1, day 2

/\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\

He had sacrificed his ship for hers. It wasn't something she had ever imagined a Maquis captain would do. A Starfleet captain for another Strafleet captain? Surely, if the situation called for it. She wanted to feel more at ease about their situation if she could believe him trustworthy. She reflected on her scant knowledge of him - he was exemplary Starfleet before the skirmish had broken out. If he was Starfleet material before, he may be able to become Starfleet material again.

Tuvok entered her ready room as she requested moments before. "Tuvok.", she greeted her friend and confidant as warmly as a woman having found herself and her crew roughly 70,000 light years from Federation space could. "It's so good to see you again."

"Likewise, Captain. Even so, I wish we were meeting under better circumstances." 

"Of course." Her head dropped before she rounded her desk to stand nearer to him. It was 'late', and as much as she would have enjoyed spending some personal time with him, the day was long and time for decisions was short, so she knew he would understand when got right to the point: "What would you say to me making Chakotay my first officer?"

He gave her idea a moment's thought. "I would say it is not an unreasonable consideration. Lieutenant Commander Cavit is deceased," Her face tightened with that admission of reality. "and you cannot, as I see it, complete your mission in a timely manner. Chakotay's vessel has been destroyed, and he and his crew are essentially stranded with us. We could use the extra personnel to function as normally as possible, if that indeed would be possible, and I believe you have also come to the conclusion that to succeed in doing so would require loyalty from them, loyalty that would be most likely given with him in a high position of authority."

She had crossed her arms while she took in his statements, and he had hit her nail on the head. "Based on your experience with him, do you think he can be trusted in the position?"

He raised an eyebrow. "I have not known him to be anything but an honorable man, his word being good. In my presence he has shown himself to be a Maquis on principle only, not a hardened terrorist. I do not believe he would engage in sabotage of you or your ship," he paused to add, "at least while we are at such a great distance from Federation space. This does not preclude a suggestion to create a holodeck mutiny training program in case any other Maquis should find the concept appealing."

She nodded in acceptance of this information and of the suggestion. Tuvok new best. She noticed her nerves had subsided somewhat. Maybe this could work after all.

Tuvok continued, "He has the knowledge and the skills necessary to be the executive officer of a Starfleet vessel, as he was commander of the U.S.S. Merrimac for three years before he transferred to instruct Starfleet's advanced tactical training course for two years before he resigned in order to join the Maquis cause." He tilted his head very slightly. "It would seem to be the most logical course of action to combine our crews and to make him Commander."

She agreed entirely and was glad to hear her trusted friend was in agreement. "Thank you, Tuvok. I appreciate your advice, as always."

"Of course, Captain. You are welcome any time."

She half-smiled. "We'll have to do some catching up soon," she motioned to the viewport with one hand, "but it looks like we'll have plenty of time for that. Right now I need to speak to Chakotay. Would you have Lieutenant Kov ask him in here?"

He curtly nodded and excused himself. It wasn't long before her door chime sounded. She took a deep breath and stood up from where she had found herself sitting for a moment on the edge of her desk. "Come in."

"Captain.", Chakotay acknowledged as he respectfully walked in a few steps to where the door closed behind him and his escort. He was still wearing the clothing he left his ship in the day before, she noticed, but then, it wasn't as if he had anything left to change into. The little she had, at least a change of clothing was part of it.

"Please wait outside, Lieutenant.", she requested of Kov, and he nodded and left the room. "Mister Chakotay. I'm glad we've finally had a chance to talk in private."

"I am as well." He stood tall and formal. Did he look like a rebel, or did he look entirely grounded? She wasn't sure, but either way, she was pleased with the decisions he had made in the Delta Quadrant so far.

"I want to first thank you very much for your sacrifice. That was a gamble. You didn't have to do it - you could have simply left." 

"It was the only action that made sense." He paused, then added, "But I didn't do it with the intention of taking over your ship afterward, if you were wondering."

She shook her head. "I only entertained that thought briefly. In the short time I have known you, you have come across as a dependable professional who has shown concern for both crews. I would like to think I am correct in that assessment." She gave him a pointed look and continued, "So I have a proposal for you and your crew I hope you will accept. As you surely know, I have no intention of harming you, and frankly, it would be ridiculous, not to mention inhumane, to hold any of you in the brig for the next seventy years. The journey home may not be fast or easy, but I believe going down that road would prove beneficial if we work together." He nodded, and she paused to regard him again before diving in. "I ask if you would agree to a truce: That you would accept the rank of commander and the position of first officer on my ship, and that you integrate your crew with mine, as one Starfleet crew."

He looked down at the floor for a moment before eyeing her evenly once again. "I was actually hoping that would be your suggestion. Otherwise, I would have to offer myself for your brig in exchange for allowing my crew to find an alternate way home."

Another relief, assuming he was telling the truth. "As you said about sacrificing your ship, I would say it's the only action that makes sense."

He nodded again. "I'll have a talk with my crew and let them know of their new assignment."

Grateful for such an extraordinarily easy settlement, she stepped forward with her hand held out. "Let me officially welcome you to the U.S.S. Voyager, Commander Chakotay."

His warm, larger hand took ahold of hers to seal the deal. "Thank you, Captain." 

"How is your leg?"

"Functioning, thanks to your charming holographic program."

"Charming?" She didn't understand how a computer program would be charming. 

"Then you haven't met him yet."

"No, but that is on my very long list of things to do today." 

"Speaking of," he recalled, "it might interest you to know that down on the planet, Mister Paris determined that if he got me out of there, my life would 'belong to him', as he put it." Her eyebrows raised, entertained. "So it looks like I will be regularly available to keep watch over him."

"That sounds like a good and fair solution to any hassling he might receive, Commander." Addressing him by title, it reminded her he would also need to look the part. "You are welcome to replicate yourself a uniform and change." She walked back around to her desk to sit and added, "And before you get to the mess hall to speak to them," she avoided saying 'your crew', "your first official duty can be to send your 'charge' in here so I may inform him of his new position."

One corner of his lips threatened to turn upward as he acknowledged her and left her ready room.

She leaned back for a moment. _Have I made the right decision?_ She could only hope so. Her gut feeling told her this whole ludicrous situation might just work out, but she didn't have long to overthink it, as a moment later, Paris dinged her chime. 

"Come in."

"You asked to see me, Captain?"

She addressed him from her seat. "Mister Paris, you have a problem." That short sentence made him nervous until she explained: "I've invited Chakotay and the other Maquis to become part of this crew. It seemed the only reasonable thing to do under the circumstances."

He somehow managed to find the news both amusing and disturbing. "Will you provide a bodyguard for me, Captain?"

"It seems you already have one."

"I do?"

"Mister Chakotay said something about his life belonging to you? He'll be taking responsibility for your safety."

Now he was only amused. "I think I'm going to enjoy this."

"Don't be so sure.", she tilted her head. "He'll also be my first officer. Everyone aboard this ship will report to him, including the lieutenant assigned to conn."

And now he was surprised. "Me?"

"I've entered into the ship's log on this date that I'm granting a field commission of lieutenant to Thomas Eugene Paris. Congratulations."

"Er, for the first time in my life I don't know what to say."

"You've earned this, Tom. I'm only sorry your father won't know."

"Oh, he'll know. When we get back."

Her door chime interrupted the tail end of their conversation. "Come.", she called. Paris quickly thanked her and left her to her ship's two alien passengers.

"Ah, Captain!", Neelix exclaimed. 

His enthusiasm was contagious. "We supplied your ship with water, Neelix. It's ready to go."

"Well, you see, that's what we wanted to discuss. We'd like to go with you." 

"I'm sorry; this isn't a passenger ship."

"Of course not.", Kes supplied. "We won't be passengers." 

Neelix added, "We'd be valuable colleagues." 

"Colleagues?"

Neelix launched into a spiel. "Whatever you need is what I have to offer. You need a guide? I'm your guide. You need supplies? I know where to procure them. I have friends among races you don't even know exist. You need a cook? Oh, you haven't lived until you've tasted my angla'bosque. It will be my job to anticipate your needs before you know you have them. And I anticipate your first need will be me."

"Captain, we both want very much to be a part of your journey.", Kes agreed.

What could she say to that? After all, Janeway knew she could use extra help and all the guidance she could get. "Alright. I will have the commander assign you quarters, and you will be expected to start your new positions immediately. I'll supply you shortly with our preliminary flight course and a list of things we'll need, and you will report back to me at 1600 hours."

Kes smiled brightly, and Neelix took the words out of her mouth. "Oh, thank you very much, Captain! I promise we won't disappoint!" 

She returned their smiles, and they left her to contemplate what she would be telling the crew.

/\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\

Followed by Lieutenant Kov, who he assumed would be advised of the change in plans soon, he walked off the bridge into the turbolift and spent the one-deck ride to the mess hall disappointed in himself. _This was what I'm supposed to be accomplished at._, he thought. And yet in this case, he was too comfortable around her; he found it was too natural and easy to want to get along with her. He had even caght himself starting to grin at her when she mentioned he should send in Paris. _Maybe she is better at this than I am._ She, an indoctrinated Starfleet bootlicker who would... He was getting himself fired up and felt like shaking his head to clear it, but he didn't want to suggest any thoughts to his escort. He needed to put his personal problem on the backburner for the time being and just concentrate on keeping his old crew's support.

The 'lift arrived, and they stepped out and walked into the mess hall. The Maquis had been gathered there since their transport over, but suspicions and tensions were extremely high by the time Chakotay arrived. Upon entrance, Kov stood to the side. All conversation died when they saw Chakotay, and they gave him their undivided attention. "As you know, we no longer have a ship, and we are seventy thousand light-years away from home." His eyes scanned each of his crewmens' as he addressed them. "Seeing as how there is nothing reasonable to fight over in this situation, and that we both have the same desire - to get back home, Captain Janeway and I have discussed things and determined the best solution to our shared problem would be to combine our crews into one Starfleet crew." There were many surprised, no, startled looks in the crowd, even huffs and a hushed gasp or two. Kov tried somewhat unsuccessfully to keep his eyebrows in their normal position.

He continued, "She has granted me commandership and allowed me to instate all of you in real positions. Now, I understand this is going to be difficult to take in, but it will work out for the best, and it will also undeniably be our best shot at getting back." He paused in regard. "But if you decide you don't want to be a part of the arrangement, please see me in private, and we will figure out where we can get you another route home. But either decision you make, I want to know I deeply appreciate each and every one of you and your service to the Maquis and to myself. I hope we can remain together and work together for the common good here on this ship." 

There were other questions to be answered, but that is where he left it for the time being. "I'll be on the bridge for a little while, and I'll get quarters assigned to you everyone as soon as possible while I'm there." He regarded them all again before heading back to the bridge, again followed by Kov. He hoped like hell there wouldn't be an insurrection at this point. That would only complicate things all the more. Until a few hours ago, he had never questioned whether or not he was a good judge of character. He would have been certain that, save, for Paris, he had never taken in a spy or outright mercenary to serve under him, and that each member of his crew was true to their apparent cause. He had never been the type to take being lied to very well, and he knew he would have to try not to make his realizations of Tuvok and Paris twist his worldview too badly.

/\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ 

Captain Janeway strode purposefully onto the bridge and stood next to her new first officer, who was now dressed in red-and-black Starfleet command attire with three full pips on his collar. "Mister Kim, put me on shipwide speaker." She waited a beat for him to do so.

"Attention all hands. We're alone in an uncharted part of the galaxy. We've already made some friends here and some enemies. We have no idea of the dangers we're going to face, but one thing is clear: Both crews are going to have to work together if we're to survive."

She looked over in acknowledgement to the barely-familiar man standing next to her. "That's why Commander Chakotay and I have agreed that this should be one crew - a Starfleet crew. And as the only Starfleet vessel 'assigned' to the Delta Quadrant, we'll continue to follow our directive to seek out new worlds and explore space. But our primary goal is clear. Even at maximum speeds, it would take over seventy years to reach Federation space, but I'm not willing to settle for that. There's another entity like the Caretaker out there who has the ability to get us there a lot faster. We'll be looking for her, and we'll also be looking for wormholes, spatial rifts, or new technologies to help us. Somewhere along this journey, we'll find a way back."

She looked down at her lieutenant at the conn. "Mister Paris, set a course... for home."

"Aye, Captain.", Paris answered eagerly, tapping in the coordinates and engaging Voyager's engines.

"Janeway out.", she nodded to Ensign Kim to close the channel. Her acknowledgemental soliloquy signified the conclusion of the very beginning chapter of an eventful journey toward the Alpha Quadrant for one hundred thirty-nine of its misplaced denizens as well as two Delta Quadrant natives who would come to know ideas and cultures far beyond their local experiences.


	2. year 1, day 2 — year 1, day 3

CHAPTER 2: year 1, day 2 - year 1, day 3

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"A _Starfleet_ crew? Is he crazy?", Torres' whisper raised louder than she wanted it to, and she gave a glance past their table over to the mess hall door where another armed security officer was standing, feigning disinterest rather well. She hoped the room wasn't also bugged to overhear their chatter, but there were no guarantees. "I don't understand why he couldn't have..." She shook her head, flustered. "No bargaining? Threats? Nothing? He could have bothered to make _some_ sort of effort to get an upper hand with the woman. He just expects us to don the uniform we've been fighting against, like something that absurd would just be alright?" 

"Hey, he's the tactician, B'Elanna", answered Seska from among the group gathered around their table. "It wouldn't surprise me if he's been working on a plan he hasn't been able tell us about yet."

"The odds are only three or four to one." Ayala was confident: "We could do that. We have before."

"From what I've heard, the two aliens Janeway picked up don't sound like they'd be more than a joke to deal with.", Jonas supplied.

Ideas were going through all their minds when Chert spoke up. "But what if he _is_ serious about this? What then?"

They looked around at each other. With some thought, Torres replied, "Either way, it might be best to pretend to play along until at least one of us can get him alone to find out." Most of the Maquis made sounds of agreement.

Ayala added, "If we find out he should have a plan, we should come up with some scenarios and possibilities beforehand so we can be prepared." They agreed they would leave that for the very near future when the could gather in quarters without a live audience and could more easily scour for bugs.

/\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\

After accepting his new position, Commander Chakotay had spent the following couple of hours in his new office aft of the bridge addressing various concerns and seeing to the assignment of quarters for his former Maquis crew, thankful that the captain had some crewmen clean out the quarters of those who were no longer with them. He could imagine that wasn't an easy task for those who had to do it, particularly so soon after their deaths. But it was something that needed to be done, and the sooner the better for his crew who were well due for a place to lay their heads.

The doorchime sounded, and he looked up from the PADD he had been working on, realizing he had been staring through it for the last few minutes. "Come in."

Ensign Kaili Nungar took but one tentative step in. "Your quarters are ready, Commander."

"Thank you, Ensign." Nungar left promptly, and Chakotay put down the PADD and rubbed his forehead with one hand. He was looking forward to getting a night's sleep himself after such an eventful nearly three days awake straight. _I had barely enough sleep that last night in the Badlands to function._, he reflected. He stretched his arms and the leg that had been broken the day prior before putting in a text message to the captain, who was surely already out cold herself, that he would be taking a nap before getting back to all the various personnel issues that still needed consideration.

/\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\

---year 1, day 3---

Morning, as much as it could be called such on a space ship in interstellar travel, came too early for everyone who was expected to be up and moving. Captain Janeway did her best to ignore her heavy eyelids and ordered a strong, steaming cup of black coffee from the replicator in her quarters. She had ordered repairs and reports from all depeartments before going to sleep. Now she needed to make a preliminary attempt at sorting out the vast array of things that needed doing that day before she showered, dressed, and left for the bridge. On her screen was a message from her new XO, listing the former Maquis crewmembers that were still with them and those that were not, stating he had assigned quarters to those that were, stating that he would have personnel recommendations and department reports ready to discuss with her later in the day, and asking when would be a good time for him to meet with her. She was pleased he had gotten and still planned to get so much done in so little time. After taking a good long drink of her coffee, she wrote back that he could come on bridge duty at 1300 hours and meet with her over a late lunch at 1400 hours. She sat back in her chair and wondered how things would go from here.

Down the hatch went half her cup, and she got back to work. "Captain's log, stardate 48316.1. We have been in the Delta Quadrant for over two days now. With the loss of Chakotay's ship and personnel losses from both crews, I have offered him the integration of our crews into one Starfleet crew under my command, which he has accepted. It is my hope this arrangement will be beneficial to both parties and that we will somehow be able to find our way home. We've also added two other crewmembers to our personnel - a Talaxian named Neelix and his Ocampan girlfriend Kes, who have promised to assist us with any information and services we could need." She paused to force high spirits. "We have set a course for the Alpha Quadrant. May it take us less than a lifetime to get back."

She then worked on the official casualty report and commendations. Thirty-one Starfleet crewmembers, five Maquis crew, and six of the nine Starfleet Marines temporarily assigned to the mission. She dwelled somberly as she input their individual names, particularly the ones she had personally met before the mission. It was such a needless loss.

/\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ 

"Lunch in the briefing room, Commander?" It was more of an order phrased as a request. She led the way across the bridge, and he followed, four PADDs in hand as compared to her two. "What would you like?", she asked as she stood in front of the replicator.

He kept his voice professionally distant. "Water and a bowl of soup, please; morel and portabella." 

He had noticed the musky odor of thick, processed coffee faintly before, when he was in her ready room and just as faintly when he was in her presence before. But today it was unquestionably stronger. He couldn't imagine that amount of coffee could be healthful. But it didn't seem to bother her; she ordered for him and then ordered herself a caesar salad and another cup of coffee. 

"Thank you.", he replied unemotionally and traded her a PADD for the soup. "I've made a list of Maquis crew members who would make good officers, some in particular positions." 

She sat and glanced through it. "Do you think Ms. Torres is up for the job?", she asked when she saw his recommendation for Chief Engineer.

"It wouldn't surprise me if she turned out to be the best engineer in Starfleet." And he was serious.

"Alright." She scrolled down in between bites. "Considering I don't know these crewmen yet and you do, I don't see a problem with any of the recommendations you've given." She scrolled down. "Suder, though, you listed without explanation at the bottom."

"We were transporting him." He didn't explain further. "Based on what I've heard from another of my former", he clarified with that word for her benefit, "crewmen as well as the person we picked him up from, he does not seem entirely sane." She tried her best to not look too bothered by this information. "So I don't yet know what to do with him either, other than to keep an eye on him." 

"Alright.", she agreed, with the mutual understanding he would figure out what to do about the both of them. "Regarding sickbay, we still need a Chief Medical Officer." 

"You have the holographic doctor program."

"I met him a little while ago. And I agree with you about his charming nature." She gave a little half-smile with that. "But he is more for emergencies only; he wasn't designed to operate on a regular basis, and he also isn't able to leave sickbay."

"Maybe we could assign some people to train with him as a field medic?" 

"Good idea. I understand Mister Paris studied biochemistry at the Academy."

"It sounds like he's hired." It came out of his mouth before he realized. He had not meant to again find himself on an easy level with her, so he finished and quickly changed the subject. "I'll look into a few others as well. Have you given any thought as to what should be done about rations and credits?"

"Not entirely, at least where credits are concerned." she admitted. "As far as rations, Ensign Bronowski estimates that based on supplementation figures of the current crew complement, we have a little less than a year and a half of water and almost a year of food available."

"Then we should plan to make stops along the way to resupply." 

"Agreed.", she took a final bite.

"Are there any cargo bays that are empty?"

"Yes.", she said as she stood and returned her plate to the replicator. "There are storage units in cargo bay three, but cargo bays one, two, and four are mostly empty."

He stood and returned his as well. "We could convert one bay two into a hydroponics and airponics bay to grow food and to process water."

"That's an excellent idea." She involuntarily placed her hand on his arm for a moment in a friendly gesture, at which he couldn't help but tense, and he narrowed his eyes as she continued talking. "I'll have Lieutenant Arkinson look into getting that set up." She noticed the change in his demeanor. "Is there something wrong?" 

He really didn't want to get into this with her, and he certainly didn't feel like getting into it with her without having had more sleep. After a few seconds of her not moving on and dropping it, he turned to completely face her and gave her a steely look. "Two days ago you would have blown me out of the sky without a second thought. If we got home tomorrow, you would do the same. But right now you want to play buddy up." He stated matter-of-factly, somehow remaining calm.

She hadn't really expected this, nor had she thought to have anything prepared to say about it. But, she realized, she should have. She owed him at least that much. "I was following orders given to me by Admiral Paris."

"Therein lies the problem. Do you really know the situation you were sent into?" He furrowed a brow. "What were you told?"

She narrowed her eyes. A lower-ranking officer had never questioned her like this, but she allowed it, because she knew they both needed to have this conversation. "Tuvok had been reporting directly to Admiral Paris. What I know comes from him, and my understanding is that the colonists of Trebus are located in Cardassian territory, and once their 'issues' with the Bajorans had been settled, they wanted their territory and that planet back to colonize. The recent Terran and Bajoran colonists refused and began a war against the Cardassians, not to mention Starfleet, who has offered to assist in their relocation. I was told you had single-handedly taken out two Cardassian cruisers, three Cardassian transport vessels, and one Starfleet aid transport. My orders were, if possible, to take you and your crew into into custody once I retrieved my chief of security from your ship."

His expression was hard. "Then I should assume Admiral Paris failed to mention some important details to you.", he looked down at her, unsurprised by the half-truths and outright lies she was fed - assuming she was in fact telling him the truth. "For instance, that Trebus has never for a second been inside of Cardassian territory; that it was Starfleet's intention to trade it for letting the Bajorans off the hook so the wormhole would essentially be under Federation control."

She crossed her arms, expression equally hard, but she was listening. 

"Another example is those ships he told you about: The cruisers came in with guns firing, the transport vessels were troop carriers, and the second Starfleet aid transport? the first time it was the U.S.S. Saber that came in to begin a forced relocation - at gunpoint - shortly before the Cardassian cruisers and carrier arrived." Her eyes widened, unsure whether she could believe it or not. "Admiral Paris in particular", he took a breath to try and keep himself calm, "would be the one who gave the order to the captain of the Saber that lead to the murder of my father, two of my cousins, one of my good friends, and a number of other innocent people who had never considered attacking anyone in their lives." He wasn't able to keep his voice from cracking, and the pain was evident in both his voice and eyes. "After that, after my resignation from Starfleet to go back and defend my home against them, the institution I had years prior given my oath to that killed off my loved ones simply for reasons of political convenience... once Admiral Paris realized my connection to the situation, he wanted me out of the picture for a reason."

She was unsurprisingly suspicious of this alternate information. "Admiral Paris sponsored my entrance to Starfleet. I served under him on the Al-Batani when I was an ensign." _There is no reason..._ "Why should I think he would use me for something like that?", she countered, admitting him latitude.

He softly replied, "It sounds like he knew you wouldn't question him, and that would in turn keep the situation quiet. And apparently he was right."

She processed this with both hands on her hips, and studied the ground for a few moments before conceding she could be wrong, that what she had thought was truth was false. She made her decision to give his story, one she could normally conceive of as unthinkable, a chance, but she eyed him sharply nonetheless. "Is there anyone onboard with whom I can confirm what you've told me? Tuvok, for instance?" 

"I really don't know what Tuvok knows. Believe me, if I had realized who he was then, I would have made it a point to explain it to him. ...after I had had him escorted off my ship. As it is, he never asked me, and I never had any detailed conversations with him in the time he was with us. And Tom Paris, who knows what he knows or what he would come up with if asked. But ask any of my other former crew, and they will have their own personal stories to back up what I've said." He regarded her sympathetically. "If you didn't know what happened until now, then I can understand it might be difficult for you to take. And while you have no reason to believe me, the 'fugitive' you were told to hunt down, I swear I've told you the truth."

He seemed sincere to her. On the other hand, there was also no question strategy was his trade. "I will consider what you've said. And I will meet with Tuvok about what we discussed earlier, so I will speak to him - about everything - shortly."

He nodded.

She picked up his PADDs, leaving hers for him to take. "Thank you for your work, Commander."

She then lead the way out of the briefing room with him on her heels. During those steps, it occurred to her it had been a profoundly poor decision to turn her back, in a private room, on the rather well-built, assumed criminal she was sent to apprehend. _Dammit._, she chastized herself. To her relief, the doors opened and nothing happened. "Commander, you have the bridge. Mister Tuvok, my ready room."


	3. year 1, day 3

CHAPTER 3: year 1, day 3

TO ALL: PLEASE go back and reread the first two chapters! I've rewritten and added enough so that doing so would be worthwhile. I think it's improved, so I hope it's too your liking. Please let me know what you think with mucho feedback? 

Kate Andromeda, I think being called "original" might just be the highest compliment a fanfic author could ever receive. Thank you so much!

Thanks for the help/encouragement, Moey. ;)

Gah, I hate that this chapter is practically half transcript. Jumbled transcript in places, but still. :P Please stick with it, though, and as always, reviews and suggestions are more than welcome!

/\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\

"Captain's log. As we maintain a course back to the Alpha Quadrant, we're conducting what would normally be routine maintenance to the ship. Routine, that is, if we had access to a starbase."

She sighed, resting her forehead against her entwined hands. Somehow she had managed to get her crew stranded in the Delta Quadrant, and now she had kilotons of extra guilt to add on top of it. Guilt, along with the sick feeling of distress and shame that she had been deceived and used to harm others by someone she had trusted and looked up to for so many years. Politics was a sad, egotistical game, she knew, but she had never realized she would ever be dragged into it in such a way. It didn't sit well with her whatsoever, and she could only imagine when the feeling would allow itself to pass. She took a good, long drink of coffee to prepare and tapped her commbadge.

"Commander, come to the ready room.", Janeway bid over the comm. The doors opened soon after her request.

"Please come in." She stood and took her time, looking down, to walk around her desk part way, then stopped and looked him in the eye. "Tuvok had told me before that you were an honorable man, Chakotay. I should have believed him, and you."

His expression changed little. It seemed to her he looked simply concerned. "Thank you, Captain. But your reaction was understandable.", he offered her. 

She regarded him, taking in how his presence seemed to focus her thoughts. "If it were an understandable mistake, it would have been a truly dreadful one had the Caretaker not intervened." She looked him in the eye, revealing her insecurity and worry with the instinct that he wouldn't betray it. "One I don't know how I would have come to terms with had I followed the orders I was given to their fullest extent, and had I ever found out in the end." Her eyes dropped and rose up to him again. "I extend my sincerest apology to you personally and to your former crew - and my word that when we get back, you are all free to go."

"Captain, I...", he began, but they were interrupted by the comm.

"Tuvok to Janeway. You are needed on the bridge."

"Acknowledged." They shared a look, one that conveyed they would continue the private conversation later, before he followed her abrupt entrance onto the bridge. This time she didn't second-guess walking out with him at her back. "Report.", she ordered to no officer in particular. 

"We have picked up two Kazon warships on long-range sensors.", Tuvok replied.

_"Kazon Warships" is a little repetitive, from what I've seen._ crossed Chakotay's mind.

"They do not appear to have noticed us." 

"Get us out of here before they do, Mister Paris. And that will be standard procedure from hereon out."

"Yes, Captain."

She took a seat in her captain's chair for a few minutes before handing command over so she could sift through the stack of reports in her ready room.

/\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\

"Sir!", Jonas called out as he and Seska ran to catch up with the commander who was heading out of sickbay. "We heard what happened. What are they going to do with B'Elanna?"

"I don't know yet, but I'll handle it.", he replied without stopping, thinking that should have been the end of the conversation. To his continued displeasure, it was not.

Seska's eyes were wide and voice excited when she piped up. "We heard that Captain Janeway's going to put her in the brig for two months, and that all the Maquis are going to be restricted to quarters when they're not on duty."

"Not true."

"We just want you to know that if things do get our of hand, we're ready to back you.", she added.

That got his attention enough to make him stop and eye them carefully. "What does that mean?

"In case you want to take control of the ship, you have our full support.", Jonas clarified.

He nearly growled. This was the last thing he needed right now, particularly just after gaining Janeway's trust. "If I ever hear you talk that way again, I'll personally throw you in the brig for mutiny." He gave them both a hard look before he stalked off to the turbolift. He had to try and take care of this situation now before the senior officers' meeting at 1800. 

/\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\

"Alright. Stations, gentlemen.", Janeway concluded what resembled a senior staff meeting and stood with the rest of them. Tuvok without pause gave Chakotay a look before leaving. Chakotay responded with one of his own that summed up his sentiment - 'Yes, I'll be discussing it with the captain. _Thank you_, Lieutenant. Now get out.' 

"Commander." She didn't have to stop him from leaving, as it was clear he was hanging back to speak with her. Good. "We have a problem.", she spoke when everyone else had left.

"Captain, I can fully understand your concerns about Torres. She's been confined to quarters since the incident..." 

"Just what job did you believe Miss Torres is suited for?", she asked him to repeat, her arms crossed.

_The dressing down._ "Chief Engineer."

"You were serious."

"Very.", he replied fully-confident and without delay.

"And what do you believe now?" 

"I still believe she is the right person for the job." 

"The Starfleet officers on this ship have worked all their lives to earn their commissions. How am I supposed to ask them to accept a Maquis - one who cannot control herself and who could not make it through the Academy - as their superior officer just because circumstances have forced us together?"

"You're asking them to accept me."

"You're qualified.", she pointed to the conference table. "You're an Academy graduate, you've got the training, and you have the command experience."

"Permission to speak freely." It was a frustrated 'listen' rather than a pure request.

"Go ahead."

"I can't and won't be your token Maquis officer. The two crews will need each other if we are going to get home, and Torres is the best engineer I've ever known. She could teach at the Academy." He paused and took a breath. "I had a conversation with her not too many minutes ago. She has personally apologized to Carey, and she is willing to make a meaningful effort for the crew and for the position of Chief Engineer."

Her arms were crossed again, but more contemplatively than aggressively tense as before. "Do you believe she is capable of discipline and self-control?" She asked the question honestly.

"I believe so, but I will ensure it."

She would relent for the time being on Torres, but she had her doubts. _He says he understands what's at stake. But does he really. It could mean life or death for all of them; a solid, stable ship that could get through this trial or dispersed groupings of wanderers with split agendas who would never make it home._ "We can't make it easy on her or anyone else, Commander. Especially the former Maquis."

"I can understand that."

"Then have her report to me at 0800."

He nodded favorably. "Thank you, Captain. And please," he added, "I urge you to take a little time to get to know her." _I think it would be worthwhile for the both of you._

"I may, Commander. Dismissed."

/\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\

The end to another assiduously turbulent day in the Delta Quadrant. She stood at her bedroom window and stared out into the night, finally having a few minutes to herself. But it was not because she wanted to have time to herself; it was because she couldn't sleep. At first, though, she had thought she'd just drank more coffee than she should have. But as her mind raced, it became apparent to her that wasn't the cause. Much as she didn't care right now to think back on what had transpired in the last week, she couldn't help it. _How could I have been so blind? So blind that I'd been deluded and used... only because of someone I trusted for so long... someone in a position of power in such a noble organization._ She started to think back. She could recall... yes, there was an instance here and there where things seemed questionable. But she hadn't questioned him. _And I should have. ...Oh god._ The more she couldn't sleep, the more she thought, and the more she was penned down by an anxious, quasi-sick feeling she couldn't shake. _And that is my fault. My fault._ She shut her eyes tightly to try and clear her thoughts. _I'll get them home. I have to._

Sleep would still be awhile in coming.


End file.
